..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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