My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
