when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
