I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
