He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
