You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
