I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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