Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
