I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
