Yo dont text me then not text me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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