You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
