Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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