Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
