Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
