I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
