he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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