is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
