I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She bit a glass in half.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
