I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
