There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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