i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
