Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
