I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
