Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
