You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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