Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
