we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
