I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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