If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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