just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
