just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The beer is more important than you right now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
