Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
