ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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