Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
