I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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