I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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