Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
