Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
