Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
