how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
