their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
