i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
