So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm too high and old for this...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
