How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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