fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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