what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
