I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
