I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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