Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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