I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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