pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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